Jeg er ikke så flink i norsk.

G and I started taking norskkurs last week – Norwegian language classes. So far, vi er ikke så  flink (not so clever) in Norwegian – yet. Unfortunately, G and I are not in the same class. He is taking evening classes twice a week for six weeks, but we signed me up for the full meal deal: three hours a day, four days a week, for three months. And that’s just Norwegian 1. Then there’s Norwegian 2 and Norwegian 3. But, let’s start with Norwegian 1, shall we?

I know that English is a Germanic language, just as norsk is, but believe me when I tell you learning this language is no easy feat. The conjugations I understand, and the verbs and sentence structure I get. And no verb conjugation? Really? Sweet! But then there’s the pronunciation. Fogettaboutit. Tell me, how would you pronounce Ø? Or how about Æ? Or maybe Å? Yeah, I feel the same way, and I’ve been to two weeks of class. Not that my excellent instructor at Alfa Skolen doesn’t try his darndest to get me to pronounce things correctly. Granted, I have had good luck with learning languages later in life: G and I took five months of Italian 1 and 2 back in 2009 when we were planning our Italian wedding, and we did pretty well for ourselves with that limited knowledge. But, learning norsk is like hitting against Randy Johnson in the mid 1990s: you don’t know what’s coming at you, but all you know is it’s going to be fast and furious. Here are some pros, cons, and random observations from our limited time learning norsk.

Almost everyone in Oslo speaks English. So, this is good and bad. Good because lord knows what we would have done for the first few months living here with no ability to communicate. Bad because we’ve not been forced to learn the language. There is something to be said for immersion. I have to tell you, though, I am very glad I can now say – and pronounce correctly – please and thank you (takk for both, really) and you’re welcome (bare hyggelig), and the most important things: I don’t speak Norwegian (Jeg snakker ikke norsk), do you speak English (Snakker du engelsk?) and excuse me/sorry (unnskyld). Oh, and two beers please (to øl, takk).

Gotta get some norsk, even if it’s just for reading the news. .no (Norwegian) websites mostly only offer information in Norwegian, which totally makes sense. I’ve already professed my undying appreciation for Google Translate and Google Chrome and their ability to translate entire websites into English. But sometimes that just doesn’t work. Here’s an example from a Google Chrome translation for a class description from my gym’s website: “Simple, tough, energetic and happy exercise for most people. Conditioning, strength and balance training with barbell. Longer and harder than kondisjonsdel Corebar Basic.” Really? Happy? I am pretty sure that “happy” would not be the English translation for anything in an class description for a fitness class. And, Google pretty much gave up when it came to translating “kondisjonsdel.” Honestly, I don’t blame it. Hence, the need to learn norsk.

Reading norsk in class is much different than hearing it. I have to admit, some days I feel like a rock star in norskkurs. I can even get the crazy Norwegian cadence in some of my speaking (I can’t explain it, but watch this odd video and it might make more sense). And, I can understand most of what my instructor says. But out in public, it’s a different story. Please don’t ask me to understand what anyone around me just said. I am sure it is the same way for people coming to the States from other non-English-speaking countries, but lordy those Norwegians speak fast. And I swear they’re not speaking Norwegian. At least not the Norwegian I learn in class. Even when I know what they’re going to say, for example, two hundre og sekste fire (264) at the grocery store, it does not sound like that. At all. Fun for all involved. Especially that eye-rolling checker at the Meny (grocery store) I go to. She just loves me and my lack of norsk. Which brings me to…

Speaking norsk in public is somewhat embarrassing. Ja. The only way to learn a language is to use it, right? Right. Which is complicated by the fact that a) I suck at pronunciation most of the time, b) I can’t remember any helpful words / phrases / sentences on the fly, and c) people can tell right away I’m not Norwegian speaker, thus resulting in an English conversation. I’m still in the phase where I’ve been here such a short time I can give a self-deprecating half-smile and say, “oh, I just moved here / started norskkurs…let me see if I can say it in Norwegian,” or something similar to that. Most of the time I get a positive response, but sometimes, like the aforementioned Meny checker…bleh. I just decided, though, I have to get over it and just try. Even if I am bad or mess up the words, it doesn’t matter. (Thank you, Steve Jobs, for the inspiration to just try).

Apparently, Americans don’t learn Norwegian. Until this week, I was the only native English speaker in my class (a Brit signed up this week; in G’s class, he and a Canadian are the native English speakers). Otherwise, there are Poles, Czechs, Belgians, Russians, Germans, Croatians, and Latvians in our classes. I don’t know why I expected more Americans, but it’s interesting to me. I guess it makes sense since most of the people immigrating to Norway are either moving for a professional job (in G’s case, English is his office’s language) or from less prosperous countries in Europe.  Plus, I guess unless you’re planning on relocating to Norway permanently, or as in my case needing to learn the language for work, it doesn’t really make sense to learn norsk from a languages-of-international-importance point of view. But, it’s kind of fun and I’m looking forward to being fluent in a second language.

Those Europeans have it going on with the multiple language thing. I am convinced that G and I are at a disadvantage compared to all those Europeans in our classes, and I’m sure there are studies to prove it. With the exception of one older woman, everyone in my class speaks at least two languages. In fact, most people I in the world speak at least two languages. Heck, some people in my class speak four or five languages. And I’m talking fluent, not just like they took French 2 in university and can muddle their way through a restaurant menu. I think having that background makes it easier for them to learn Norwegian. They are used to “switching gears” and speaking/thinking in different languages as quickly as conversation requires it. I admire and envy this quality. While it makes it hard to keep up sometimes with my classmates, I look forward to learning some Polish. Maybe some Latvian too. Okay, maybe not Latvian, but you get my drift, nei?

I can finally translate some things. A small victory: only two weeks of norskkurs and I finally know that the sign at the gym says, “kindly put away your equipment.” I was so happy I could translate that this morning I almost cried. Other things start to make more sense too. The woman on the metro says, “doors are closing,” (dørene lukkes). A sandwich is a smørbrød. That phrase that people say after being helped at the post office actually means thank you very much (takk skal det har), and I’ve been throwing it out with reckless abandon since I learned it. Little things, sure. But little things help so much after not knowing what the heck everyone’s been saying for two and a half months.

Do I still have a ton to learn? You bet. I don’t think I’ll know all I want to if/when we leave Norway. Am I glad we’re doing it? Ja, absolutt. I can’t imagine traveling to a country, much less living in it for an extended period of time, without knowing the language. It is a humbling, yet fun and exciting experience.

Ha de bra på nå!